I could tell you all the details from the last few days with Cash and his cancer, but I just don’t have that part in me right now. And honestly… does it even matter? What matters is this: Cash was not getting better. He took a turn quickly. He was hurting. Greg and I had already made the decision that we would not let him suffer. Not for us. Not to keep him here one more day if that day meant pain. So we let him go.

Even typing those words feels wrong.

Losing Cash is hurting my heart more than any fur baby before and if you know, you know. Some people don’t understand that kind of love, that kind of bond. But those of us who do know, we know exactly what it is. They are not “just dogs.”
They are family
They are comfort and routine and joy.
They are the soft ears, the heavy paws, the snoring.
The following you from room to room.
The knowing eyes.
The quiet loyalty that never wavers, never complicates, never holds back.
They just love us.
And Cash loved us so very well.

I kissed his nose. I rubbed his belly. I held his big furry paw as he drifted over the Rainbow Bridge. As shattered as we are, I know with everything in me that we made the right choice for him. Loving Cash meant not letting him suffer, no matter how badly we wanted to keep him here.

Now we’re home with Shelby and Bean, and they only know their buddy isn’t here. The house feels different already. Too quiet in the wrong ways. Too empty in all the places where Cash should be.
I’ve talked with my grands over the past few weeks about how sick Cash was, and I explained a little more to Wyatt and Urban. Still, I know their little hearts will be broken. Wyatt especially is going to take this one hard, and that hurts in its own way too.

This whole thing just sucks. It does. There’s no deep, polished, meaningful ending here. No tidy way to wrap up this kind of grief. We are heartbroken, and we miss our boy. But we are so, so grateful for every moment we had with him.

Thank you to every person who loved Cash, prayed for him, checked on him, and loved on us through these last few months. We have felt every bit of that kindness, and it has meant more than you know.

Run free, sweet boy.
You were so loved.
You will always be loved.
And there will never be another you.

XOXO