This morning I sat down with my coffee, still shaking off the sleep, and flipped on the Today Show. I didn’t expect to get pulled into something so real, but when Michelle Obama starts talking, you just listen. And this morning, she brought it.
She spoke openly—candidly—about her marriage, about politics, and about all the tabloid nonsense that’s been swirling around lately. People have been speculating that she and President Obama are getting divorced just because she chose not to attend the inauguration this year or President Jimmy Carter’s funeral. Her response? “I’m simply doing what I feel I need to do for me.”
That hit me. Hard.
In a world where everyone expects you to show up a certain way, especially as a former First Lady, she’s choosing peace. Rest. Space. And maybe even boundaries. Imagine that. A woman, choosing herself without apology. I respect the hell out of that.
But what really got me was her honesty about marriage. She admitted that there were times she literally could not stand Barack—especially when their daughters were young. And let me tell you, if Michelle Obama can’t stand her husband sometimes, the rest of us don’t stand a chance of floating through marriage like it’s a damn rom-com.
It made me stop and really think: maybe that is one of the big problems in marriage today. We swing too far in either direction—we’re either blasting every miserable moment on social media or we’re painting some Pinterest-perfect picture that isn’t real. But marriage? Real marriage? It lives somewhere in between.
There are seasons—sometimes days, sometimes months—where it’s just plain hard. Where you look at the person you married and think, “Who are you and why are you chewing so loud?” And honestly? That doesn’t mean you’re headed for divorce court. It means you’re human. It means you’re married.
And sometimes, the struggle has nothing to do with the marriage at all. Life throws weird curveballs. Sometimes you’re both in a funky place at the same time, and neither of you knows how to say it out loud. And it’s in those moments that we need more patience, more grace, and more love—not more pressure to perform or more fear that something’s broken.
What I loved most this morning was the clip they showed of President Obama himself. He said he realized that he was in a rough patch in his marriage because he wasn’t doing anything fun—everything was serious, political, and exhausting. And it made him pause. It made him want to do better.
And that’s the takeaway, isn’t it? Just try. Try to love each other through the weirdness. Through the quiet spells. Through the loud arguments and the eye rolls. Sometimes you need counseling. Sometimes you need space. Sometimes you just need to laugh again.
Look, this isn’t about politics. I don’t care which side of the aisle you’re on. I’ve always liked the Obamas—not necessarily as politicians, but as people. I admire their grit, their loyalty, their willingness to admit when things get tough. I admire that they keep showing up—for each other and for their kids.
So today, I’m just reminded that love isn’t always pretty. It’s not always easy. But if two people are willing to try, there’s beauty in the mess.
Here’s to the ones who keep trying.
XOXO, Jani
Journeys With Jani 