Have you ever had a friend or family member tell you you’re too sensitive?

Or too emotional.

Or too reactive.

I’ve been told all of the above.

And to be fair… it’s usually said to me when I’m actually in my feelings. So it’s not like I’m standing there calm as a Southern Sunday Afternoon & somebody just randomly decides I’m too much.

NO. I’M ALREADY IN IT!

But here’s the part that matters.

You’re too sensitive usually isn’t feedback. It’s a dismissal. It’s what people say when they don’t know what else to say, or they want my reaction to be the problem instead of the thing that sparked it. Because it’s easier to label someone than to look at what hurt them.

It’s easier to say you’re too emotional than to say I didn’t handle that well. It’s easier to frame your feelings as the issue than to admit someone crossed a line.

Now let’s talk about what happens in my brain when I hear those words…

My OCD brain does all the things. ALL THE THINGS.

😵‍💫 It replays the conversation like it’s a film study.

😵‍💫 It breaks down tone, timing, and facial expressions like I’m working a true crime case.

😵‍💫 It runs ten different meanings through a courtroom trial and somehow I still end up guilty.

And here’s the thing. You do not need OCD, CPTSD, anxiety, depression, or any other acronym that comes with an invisible baggage tag to understand this.

Sometimes it’s not a diagnosis. Sometimes it’s just being human… while carrying experiences that taught you to stay alert.

Because when you’ve lived through enough, your nervous system gets quick. It does not wait for proof. It reacts to patterns.

So when someone says you’re too sensitive, I want to ask them something simple…

Is it really necessary to ask me that?

No. Because we already know. Trust me… we know.

By middle age, it becomes a 50/50 gamble whether we even care by the time it hits our ears. We’ve learned what’s worth our energy & what isn’t. We’ve learned that some people do not want resolution. They want silence.

And I’m not reactive like I used to be. Time has tempered me.

But SOME days I am overly sensitive.

SOME days I am so “you can kiss my grits” that you see Jani, MJ, & Mary Jane within 60 seconds. IYKYK.

Emotions. I’m 56. I have muddled through some serious BS in my life.

A LOT OF BS. So yes, I’ll cry if I want to. I’ll feel what I feel. I’ll process it in real time. And if that makes someone uncomfortable, they are welcome to sit with that discomfort & reflect.

Because my feelings are not the enemy.

Dismissal is.

And to be fair… I have zero sensitivity for S-T-U-P-I-D.

XOXO,

Jani, MJ, Mary Jane