Let’s Talk About It… Every now & then Facebook does that thing where it drops a post into your feed that makes you think.

That’s what happened when Jennifer Carter’s post popped up. If you know her, you already know she’s smart & witty, but it’s her posts about her mom that get me. This one did what the best posts do… it planted a question & wouldn’t let go.

How did parenthood change you in ways you never imagined or even considered?

And before I could pretend I was too busy to feel things, I was already sitting there thinking about my own answers, my own fears, my own miracles… and the way the people who raised us didn’t know what was coming.

Because let’s be honest… some of us arrived as children like a surprise tornado with a bow on top.

Jennifer wrote about her poor little Christian mother probably imagining life with a sweet little girl, having no idea that little girl would wind up being… her. Surprise, ma’am.

And that right there is parenting.

❤️ Parenting doesn’t just add to your life

– It rearranges you.

– It challenges what you believe.

– It forces you to look at your own upbringing w/ fresh eyes.

– It teaches you patience you didn’t know you had.

– It exposes the parts of you that still need healing.

– It humbles you daily, sometimes hourly.

– Sometimes it makes you better.

– Sometimes it makes you tired.

Sometimes it makes you stare at the ceiling at 2:47am thinking, Who let me be in charge of other humans?

“I became a totally different person.”

One comment under Jennifer’s post said that & whew… yes.

Because parenthood doesn’t just give you children.

It gives you a brand-new emotional operating system… and no instruction manual.

Your kids challenge you every day.

And if you’re blessed enough to have grandkids, they’ll challenge you too, just with more snacks involved.

And somewhere in the middle of all of it, you catch yourself thinking about what you dreamed motherhood would be…& what it actually became.

One reply stopped me cold:

“I dreamed of people who would love me & cherish me. While I do have that, I’ve faced things that even my imagination could never have conjured.”

Because that’s the truth nobody prepares you for.

You can be loved beyond measure & still be brought to your knees by the weight of it.

You can have everything you prayed for & still be completely unprepared for the job.

Here’s mine: I prayed for a boy. Twice.

And I’m not joking.

God knew me & honored that prayer.

And then He handed me the kind of love I didn’t even have language for yet.

Having children allowed me to love in a way I could’ve never even come close to understanding without them. Being Jake & Jarrett’s mom has been the single greatest thing I will ever do… & even that sentence doesn’t fully cover it.

But my story has a sharp edge too.

Because my mother was not that mother. Not ever.

And because of that, there was a fear that lived quietly in the back of my mind for years:

What if I turn out like her?

I worried I wouldn’t know how to love the way I watched my friends’ moms love them. Like there was some missing part in me.

And then something happened.

I loved them.

Not perfectly. Not without mistakes. Not without learning the hard way sometimes.

But deeply. Fiercely. The kind of love that makes you protect and soften & grow.

And that’s when I learned something I’ll say until I’m old & loud:

❤️ Love is not inherited

– You can come from cold & still choose warmth.

– You can come from chaos & still build peace.

– You can come from broken & still create safe.

Parenthood doesn’t just change you because kids need you.

It changes you because you finally decide what ends with you.

– Motherhood makes you meet yourself.

– It drags your selfishness into the light.

– It forces you to apologize.

It teaches you that being right isn’t as important as being kind.

It makes you look at your own childhood & either repeat it… or rewrite it.

And maybe that’s the point.

– Maybe the point was never perfection.

– Maybe the point was to be changed.

🤗 To be stretched.

🤗 To love bigger than you knew you could.

🤗 To become someone your children can count on.

🤗 To break what needed breaking.

🤗 To build what you didn’t get.

And if you had a mother you can celebrate… love her out loud. Write it. Say it. Call her. Don’t assume you’ll always have the chance.

And if you didn’t?

Hear me clearly.

You can still become the kind of love you needed.

Because love isn’t inherited.

It’s chosen.

❤️ Let’s Talk About It…

How did parenthood change you in ways you never expected?

What did it bring out in you?

What did it heal in you?

What did it break and rebuild?

Tell me your plot twist.

XOXO, Jani