Journeys With Jani

Y’all ever hear something so simple it punches you square in the forehead with truth? That’s exactly what happens every time my friend Tammy—yes, that Tammy, the queen bee of Take Time To Travel—says, “Your reaction is your responsibility.” Now, I don’t know about you, but I can be a tad reactive. OK fine, more like a fireworks finale at the Fourth of July if I’m caught on the wrong day, wrong foot, wrong mood, wrong humidity percentage. You get the point.

But Tammy? She’s cool as a cucumber rolled in sweet tea 99.9% of the time. And when she says that line, she doesn’t say it with judgment. She says it like someone who’s had to learn it the hard way—just like the rest of us.

I mean, how many times do we let someone ruin our day? Somebody cuts you off in traffic, your kid rolls their eyes one too many times, or your coworker sends a snarky email (bless their passive-aggressive little heart)—and suddenly we’re spiraling. We start justifying our mood with, “Well I wouldn’t be this mad if they hadn’t…” But let’s be real: they didn’t make us feel anything. We chose to let it stick.

It’s annoying, I know. Because if we’re responsible for our reactions, then we can’t keep handing out blame like candy at a Christmas parade. We have to sit with it. Reflect. Adjust. Ugh, right?

But also… what a gift. When we take ownership of our reactions, we take back our power. No one gets to pull our strings unless we hand ‘em the cord. That’s not just self-awareness. That’s self-preservation. And Lord knows, with the chaos of daily life, I need all the preservation I can get.

So now, when the day gets sideways or someone decides to come at me with a full plate of nonsense, I try (TRY being the operative word) to pause and ask: “Do I really want to go there? Do I want to spend the next hour (or week) stewing about this?”

Sometimes, yeah, I do want to go there. Sometimes I’m in the mood to stew. Sometimes a good ol’ vent session is exactly what the doctor ordered. But it’s still a choice. And knowing that? It makes all the difference.

So here’s your friendly reminder from me (and Tammy):

Your reaction is your responsibility.

It’s hard. It’s humbling. And it’s holy work.

But it’s also what keeps us sane, kind, and—hopefully—a little less like a sparkler in a fireworks warehouse.