Journeys With Jani

Well y’all, today is the day—

disembarkation day. And let me tell you something: while I’ve loved every second of salty air and bottomless shrimp cocktails, I’m more than ready to get the heck off this ship.

Don’t get me wrong—

the cruise was fabulous. But after a week of eating like a Kardashian at an all-you-can-eat buffet and pretending I didn’t hear my bank account crying every time I passed the onboard shops, I’m ready to trade in these high seas

for my low country porch swing.

I’ve hit that point where my stretchy pants are begging for mercy, my back is screaming from pretending I’m 25 doing the Macarena at the deck party, and my face is saying

“Get me off this floating hotel before I turn into a human saltine!”

Now, disembarkation? It’s always a production. You’re given luggage tags and color codes like you’re in kindergarten and they’re telling you it’s snack time. The cruise staff is on the intercom at dawn, chirping, “Good morning, lovely guests, it’s time to disembark!” like it’s a blessing. Honey, I’m packed, zipped, and ready to sprint down that gangway!

I’m already imagining my own bed, my own bathroom, and not having to make awkward small talk with people I’ll never see again in my life. I miss my pups. I miss my coffee that doesn’t cost $14 a cup. And heaven help me, I even miss my laundry pile. OK. That was a lie.

Let’s be honest—when I travel, I travel hard. I love every second of it. But I’m also the girl who, on the last day, is 110% ready to go home. I’m basically standing by the cabin door with my suitcase in hand like, “Don’t make me late for my Uber to reality!”

So today, I say: farewell, ship life. You were good to me. But my porch, my coffee mug, and Cash & Shelbys wet noses and Bean’s need for attention are calling me home.

XOXO, Jani