There’s something you should know about women who don’t have a lot of friends. Not because we’re cold. Not because we’re standoffish. Not because people we ‘re liked. But because life has taught us how to be selective—and not everybody deserves a seat at our table. And don’t get this wrong. Just because lots of people surround you, does not make them true friends!

Let me explain:

-We pick up on energy quick. We’ve walked into rooms and felt the tension before a single word was said.

-We don’t entertain drama. If it’s not peace or purpose, we’ll pass (mostly LOL).

-We’ve been betrayed by the ones we loved most. So now we move cautious—not cold. -We’re selective, not lonely.

-We’ve learned our alone time is often better than fake company.

-We don’t need a crowd to feel seen. That scares folks who rely on attention to feel important. -We’re not easy to fool. Experience taught us how to spot fake from real—and we’re not going back.

-Our peace is sacred. If we let you into our lives, it’s because your spirit aligned with ours. We’ve learned the hard way— not everyone who claps 👏 is cheering for you.

-We’ve got depth. Small talk and shallow energy don’t feed our souls. Real connection or nothing at all.

-We don’t move out of desperation. We move with discernment. The wrong people call that “standoffish.” And that’s fine.

And while we’re on the subject of truth-telling…

I’ve heard the whispers: “The blog just doesn’t sound like my friend Jani, so I just stopped reading it.”

Well, bless your heart… you weren’t reading it to begin with. 😏

Yes, I use my smart ChatGPT writing buddy to help me organize my thoughts—because my brain is like a blender most days. But don’t get it twisted: the sass, the snark, the soul? That’s ALL me. The best writing still comes from a real, flawed, passionate human.

All writers have someone polishing their work—editors, assistants, helpers. I just happen to use a tech-savvy one that doesn’t drink coffee or take bathroom breaks. But make no mistake: the humor, the depth, the Southern Fried Belle with a hint of Yankee directness? That’s mine. All mine.

The people who sit across from me every week over dinner, drinks, and girl talk? They know the unfiltered, unedited version of me. And they’ll tell you—what you read is me. Just with a few more commas.

And yes—I’ll be honest—I’m a little hurt. And a little mad. Because I’ve realized the loudest critics are often the ones who’ve always enjoyed knocking me down. The same people who serve up gaslighting and passive-aggressive jabs with a sweet tea smile and that good ol’ underhanded Southern “bless-your-heart” nonsense. 👀

But here’s the thing…

My true supporters? They see me now. They don’t need me to shrink or shape-shift to be palatable. They’re the ones who show up, who cheer me on, and who actually read the things I pour my heart into.

So if you’ve got time to scroll through TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, or X—but can’t take a second to support a friend who’s finally picking up a pen and writing from the gut? Well, kick rocks. 🪨

You may not like my writing voice—and you’re not wrong. Writing is different from talking. But make no mistake, baby—it’s still me. Every bold, sassy, soul-baring bit of it.

And if you don’t like it? Well… you know what to do.

Bite me. 😉

It’s a damn good life.

XOXO, Jani

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