Journeys With Jani

Y’all. Can we just have a little come-to-Jesus moment?

I am flat-out over this new trend of blaming everybody and their momma for every little inconvenience, trauma, or misstep. And before someone gets their feathers all ruffled—no, I’m not saying childhood doesn’t leave marks. Believe me, I know it does. But at some point, we’ve got to stop blaming our past for every poor decision we make as grown adults.

If my boys turned out that soft, I might’ve had to disown ‘em (not really, but you get the idea). Thank the good Lord above they’ve got grit—and maybe just enough of their momma’s attitude to keep ’em grounded. At times they fail and maybe even wallow a bit hit then they strap up.

Here’s the truth we don’t say out loud enough: Parents are going to screw up. Repeatedly. Dramatically. Spectacularly. There is no manual. Half the time we’re just doing the best we can with what we’ve got—and praying we don’t completely mess y’all up in the process.

And another thing? Everybody has some kind of bull crap from childhood. Everybody. Some wounds are deeper than others, sure—but no one escapes unscathed. It’s part of the human experience.

Also. People will hurt you. You will hurt people. That’s not always intentional—it’s just part of the messy, tangled web we call life. You will love and lose and laugh and cry and wonder what the hell just happened. And then? You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and carry on.

Because here’s the big, not-so-secret secret:

Once you hit adulthood, your life is your responsibility.

Not your momma’s. Not your daddy’s. Not that one bad teacher you had in 7th grade. YOURS.

You make the choices.

You pick the path.

You deal with the consequences.

And if you screw it up? Guess what? You deal with that too. I mean, get some therapy! Take a pill! Chew a gummy!

I’m not trying to sound cold-hearted. I’m just being honest. Because somewhere along the way, this culture decided that every mistake needs a scapegoat. And y’all… that’s just not how life works.

Life isn’t fair. It’s just life.

And the sooner we stop expecting fairness and start embracing personal accountability, the sooner we start actually living.

One of my son’s favorite quotes comes from George Jung, and it’s stuck with me for years:

“Sometimes you’re flush, and sometimes you’re bust. And when you’re up, it’s never as good as it seems, and when you’re down, you think you’ll never be up again—but life goes on.”

Ain’t that the truth?

So, deal with it.

Learn from it.

Grow through it.

And for heaven’s sake, quit whining and start walking.

With tough love (and a smirk),

XOXO, Jani