Journeys With Jani

Alright y’all, let’s have a little chat about the hot mess that is 23andMe right now. Because… what in the DNA is going on?

So here’s the tea: 23andMe, that little at-home DNA testing company that had everyone spitting into tubes and shipping off their genetic secrets like they were ordering shoes on Amazon, has now filed for bankruptcy. Yep. Bankrupt. And guess what? Another company is swooping in to buy them. And that, my friends, is where things start to feel all kinds of wrong.

Now, let me start by saying—I never did 23andMe. I don’t know, something about it just didn’t sit right with me from the get-go. Don’t get me wrong—I absolutely love that it helped people find long-lost family members and gave folks a peek into their ancestry. That’s beautiful, and powerful, and I’ll never knock that. I get the appeal.

But me? I’ve never been able to shake the feeling that sending off your literal DNA to a for-profit company might not be the brightest idea in the box. And look, I’m not some tin-foil-hat-wearing, black-helicopter-watching, government-conspiracy-type (unless we’re talking about what’s really in hospital pudding cups, but that’s another story). I get that we give blood at the doctor, we pee in cups for labs, and honestly, if the government really wanted our info, they’ve probably had it since we first got our social security number.

But this? This is different.

With 23andMe, we weren’t just giving a little info—we were giving all of it. Everything about who we are, genetically speaking, handed over on a silver spit-filled platter. And not just for health screenings or ancestry purposes—your data could be used in research, sold to pharmaceutical companies, or God knows what else depending on the fine print. And now? A brand new company is about to own all of it.

And that freaks me out.

Because while the government may or may not be quietly keeping tabs, what I do know is that I don’t want some random group of venture capitalists, tech bros, or data miners having access to the inner workings of my entire family tree and medical blueprint. And if you were one of the millions who did do 23andMe? You don’t get to take that info back. It’s not like canceling Netflix. That data is out there, and someone new is about to profit off it.

So yeah, I’m a little salty about it. I think people were sold the promise of connection and understanding, and they weren’t wrong to want that. But the price we pay for convenience or curiosity is getting higher—and more personal—every day.

Anyway. If anyone needs me, I’ll be over here trying to remember if I ever even said my maiden name online, much less mailed it in with my DNA attached.

Stay smart, stay skeptical, and maybe don’t spit in anything you can’t take back.

XOXO, Jani