Journeys With Jani

Wouldn’t it be nice if life came with an instruction manual? Something like “Step 1: Be born. Step 2: Have your life together by 25. Step 3: Coast comfortably into retirement with perfect skin and a fully stocked bank account.”

Yeah, well, bless your heart if you think that’s how it works.

Down here in the South, we know better. We were born into chaos, raised on porch wisdom, and seasoned with a whole lot of trial and error. Life didn’t come with a manual, so we just went ahead and wrote our own—probably on the back of a napkin with sweet tea rings on it. And honey, it’s way more entertaining than anything Ikea could come up with.

Step 1: Mind Your Manners—But Also, Mind Your Business

In the South, we were raised to say yes ma’am and no sir, send thank-you notes, and always offer somebody a plate of food before asking why they even showed up in the first place. But let’s get one thing straight—we are polite, not passive.

We might be smiling at you, but if you hear a “Well, ain’t that nice?” in a certain tone, you should start backing away slowly. We wrote the book on Southern hospitality, but we also added a whole chapter on how to read between the lines.

Step 2: When in Doubt, Fry It or Fix It with Duct Tape

Life throws curveballs, and we don’t have time for breakdowns—unless they involve broken air conditioning in August, in which case prayers and funeral arrangements might be necessary. Otherwise, the solution to most of life’s problems is either deep-frying it or duct-taping it back together.

Car won’t start? Duct tape that battery wire.

Bad haircut? Tease it and add some hairspray.

Relationship on the rocks? Sit down with some fried chicken and see if you can’t work it out.

And if nothing else works, grab a mason jar, pour yourself something strong, and let Jesus take the wheel.

Step 3: Know When to Raise Hell and When to Just Sit on the Porch

Not everything is worth fighting over, but some things absolutely are. Down here, we know the difference between a bless-your-heart situation and a somebody-better-hold-my-earrings moment.

We let a lot slide, but if you come for our family, our football team, or our grandmother’s recipe for cornbread (sugar does not belong in it, by the way), we will absolutely take you to the front yard and settle things the proper way—with a mix of passive-aggressive comments and possibly a well-placed sandal.

On the flip side, sometimes life just calls for rocking chairs, a cool breeze, and remembering that not every battle needs to be fought today. Some things sort themselves out when given time and a little sweet tea-induced wisdom.

Step 4: Laugh, Even When It Ain’t Funny

If there’s one thing Southerners do best, it’s finding humor in even the most ridiculous situations. Whether it’s laughing at ourselves, at life, or at that one uncle who always starts a sentence with “Now I ain’t one to gossip, but…,” we know that if you can’t find something to smile about, you’re doing it wrong.

Because at the end of the day, life’s instruction manual is just a collection of stories—some of them good, some of them messy, and some of them so downright unbelievable you couldn’t make ’em up if you tried.

So go on, write your own manual. Just make sure it’s got a little sass, a little grace, and a whole lot of Southern charm. And if all else fails, remember—everything’s figure-out-able… except how to fold a fitted sheet. That one remains a mystery.

XOXO, Jani